Monday, June 17News That Matters

Scott Pruitt makes it clear—He flies first class to avoid the dirty hippies at the back of the plane

Why does EPA chief Scott Pruitt require an absolutely unprecedented army of at least 30 personal security guards? Why did he clear a whole floor of the EPA for his private use? Why did he institute a new security system within the security system to keep people out of the building, and a $25,000 cone of silence within in his office? Most of all, why does he fly around the world in first class, surrounded by his security entourage? What horrible threat requires that the public spend—at least—hundreds of thousands on giving Pruitt special waivers to grab first class tickets not just to Europe, but on even the shortest flight?

Now we have an answer. Someone … hurt Pruitt’s feelings.

The director of the EPA’s Office of Criminal Enforcement, Henry Barnet, told Politico that Pruitt was “approached in the airport numerous times” and had profanities “yelled at him” during his travels.

This apparently so traumatized Pruitt that he had to be entitled to an umbrella drink and a warm towel on all his flights. That’y why it now costs $36,000 for Pruitt to fly from Cincinnati to New York, and at least $90,000 just for his travels in June. All that’s on top of the at least $2 million in extra funds for his private army; a security detail far larger than anyone, ever, in any position other than president. 

Barnet told the publication that one specific incident saw a person approach Pruitt and shout “Scott Pruitt, you’re f—ing up the environment” while recording it on a cellphone.

With a horror like that, we can only be grateful that Pruitt didn’t decide to go nuclear on the entire National Airport.